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 Dagens joke
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 17/08-2016 20:13
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 4361 |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 17/08-2016 21:23
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
"You heard about the Chinese Godfather? They made him an offer he couldn't understand..!" - og mere af den slags i denne samling af Gold Nuggets fra The Sopranos... "Gettafuckoutahere"! |
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| hugoboerge |
Lagt på d. 19/08-2016 13:48
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 5534 |
Bill Clinton's Box Under the Bed When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I put a box under the bed. Promise me you will never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there was such a box and with those contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I'm so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?” Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.” Hillary was shocked, but thought, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. And since I know he is addicted to sex, three times is not too bad.” She said, ”OK Bill, I guess I can forgive you.” Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?” He answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center." |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 23/08-2016 14:57
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Welcome to Denmark....Allahu Akhbar... https://youtu.be/...pvURU?t=85 "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 23/08-2016 15:45
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 23/08-2016 17:08
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
"Freaks out on the floor.."  |
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| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 23/08-2016 19:50
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 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1392 |
Aarhus Gymnastik Forening har fået ny sponsor. [img]http://i.imgur.com/sy8uPCx.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image. Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/08-2016 07:53
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the telephone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, 'Mummy, Mummy, Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe, and she has no clothes on'. The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor. 'You rotten Bitch', she screams. 'My husband's having a heart attack and you're running around naked, playing hide and seek with the bloody kids!' "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 26/08-2016 04:09
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 28/08-2016 16:19
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
On the Campaign Trail... Donald and Hillary go into a bakery while on the campaign trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie.” I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result." Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?” Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket….” "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 29/08-2016 20:27
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 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 29/08-2016 20:57
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
http://www.krak.d...t/53257411 Stakkels mand..  |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 30/08-2016 07:12
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now! 2. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. 3. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. 4. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet. 5. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me ! 6. When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a short vacation. 7. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on. 8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees. 9. The kids text me "plz", which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes." 10. I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week. 11. Even duct tape can't fix stupidity - but it can muffle the sound ! 12. Why do I have to "Press One for English" when they're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? 13. Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 30/08-2016 08:22
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
"Walk this way" RIP Gene Wilder - a Class Act.. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 31/08-2016 11:44
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Jack Nicholson "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 31/08-2016 12:32
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Så er det bare om det er denne person som vist er vant til hjertets kvaler: - http://www.cfrhos...h-thomsen/ Eller denne person som går i karate kids fodspor: - https://dk.linked...h-890972a5 Og ja først så troede jeg faktisk at en heilpraktiker var noget med at gå march med strakt arm - i hvert fald indtil jeg googlede hvad sådan en fætter er for en. Sorry, emnet røg lidt på afveje her. Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 31/08-2016 18:24
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
En mellemlanding på 47 år i Bangkok. Det lyder som noget af en fejl, og derfor henvendte forbruger James Lloyd sig da også på Facebook til rejseselskabet Scyscanner, som udbød rejsen. »Hvad foreslår I, jeg bruger de 47 år på,« spurgte James Lloyd sarkastisk i sit opslag. Læs selv svaret på: BT Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 01/09-2016 17:31
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?" Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 01/09-2016 18:16
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 01/09-2016 20:21
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
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| Spring til debat: |
