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 Dagens joke
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 11/07-2016 04:32
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Friends Two elderly gentlemen had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.. His friend stared at him for at least three minutes -- he just stared and stared at him. Finally he said, 'How soon do you need to know?' "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 11/07-2016 17:09
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A woman was at work when a man said : Your hair smells nice.... She went straight to her boss and said: I have been sexually harrassed.. A man said my hair smells nice.. He in return said: What"s wrong with that ? It does... She said: The man who said it is a midget... 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 12/07-2016 19:52
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have one." A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I have on of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have one." Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says "I just won $50,000" Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?" The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?" "Yes," Says grandpa. "Then go fuck yourself" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 13/07-2016 15:57
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Svaret paa alle dine sporgsmaal er her.... "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 15/07-2016 21:24
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
Oh shit, kinesisk visdom..! |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 17/07-2016 10:28
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 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 17/07-2016 21:03
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 19/07-2016 17:57
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century" she said. "We don't waste money on Newspapers. Here use my iPad." I can tell you this.. That friggin fly never knew what hit him. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| hugoboerge |
Lagt på d. 20/07-2016 11:35
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 5534 |
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. (ain't this one the truth) Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve’s Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.' As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' 'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.' |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 21/07-2016 08:46
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Så kan han laere det..... "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 22/07-2016 16:47
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
https://www.faceb...0296008862
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 23/07-2016 05:43
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
[img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CghnKQsW8AAp1OC.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 24/07-2016 05:28
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
New dentures tomorrow.... A couple of old timers were playing golf, when one mentioned he was going to Dr. Upjohn for a new set of dentures in the morning.... His elderly mate remarked that he too had gone to the same Dr. Upjohn two years previously... "Is that so?" asked the first old timer....."Did he do a really good job?" His elderly mate replied, "Weeell, I was on this Golf Course yesterday when a bloke on the next fairway hooked his shot, the ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it veered to the right and smacked me fair and square in both my nuts.....!"..... The first old timer was confused and asked..."What the Hell does that have to do with your dentures?"... He replied, " Weeell, it was the first time in 2 years my bloooody teeth didn't hurt!"...... "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/07-2016 06:00
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies. The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100. The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes. They return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home. The undertaker is puzzled and asks, Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100? The American diplomats reply, Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 25/07-2016 16:47
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Vigtigt..!! Denne hvide varevogn er sat i forbindelse med flere indbrud på Amager,så hold øjnene åbent.. Må gerne deles,,,,,,,,,,,
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 25/07-2016 17:28
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
Webm. det er Joan Ørting der sætter disse griller ind i hovedet på de unge. Det kaldes en quickie og udføres overalt i samfundet. |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 28/07-2016 10:54
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 28/07-2016 18:39
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Headaches The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 29/07-2016 15:40
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Big buns.... banned commercials "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 31/07-2016 17:43
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?" The customer says, "Female" The counter guy asks, "Black or white?" The customer says, "White" The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?" The customer says, "What does religion have to do with it?" The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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