. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
Nyheder
Se indlæg
 Dagens joke
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 27/05-2016 21:06
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 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
natty skrev: Spørgsmål: Hvad sker der hvis en jøde med stiv p.k løber ind i Grædemuren? Svar: Han brækker næsen. Ja der er mange grove :-) Kan huske at man før i tiden hørte så mange Århus- og Molbo-historier. Dem hører man aldrig mere. Her er dog én: Hvorfor hælder århusianerne vand på deres computer? – De vil surfe på nettet. Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| natty |
Lagt på d. 27/05-2016 21:25
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 3021 |
Yep web, der er masser af grove, mange dog sagt med et smil på læben, derfor virker de også anderledes når de skrives, den her er nok mest for københavnere  Hvad er det som er ca.2 meter langt, bevæger sig langsomt, er rød og gul og lugter af karry? Linje 5A Uvidenhed avler oftere selvtillid end viden, Charles Darwin
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 27/05-2016 21:44
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
To arabere gik ombord på et fly, der skulle flyve fra Washington til New York. Den ene satte sig i sædet ud mod vinduet, den anden i midtersædet. Lige inden takeoff steg en lille tyk israeler ombord og satte sig i sædet ved siden af araberne. Han sparkede skoene af, vrikkede med tæerne og skulle til at sætte sig til rette, da araberen ved vinduet sagde: "Jeg tror, jeg går op og henter en cola"! "Det er ikke noget problem", sagde israeleren, "jeg skal nok hente den for dig". Imens israeleren var væk, tog araberen israelerens ene sko og spyttede i den. Da israeleren kom tilbage, sagde den anden araber: "Det ser godt ud. Jeg tror også jeg vil ha' en"! Igen var israeleren flink og gik op efter en cola. Imens han var væk tog den anden araber den anden sko og spyttede i den. Israeleren kom tilbage med colaen, og de nød alle den korte tur til New York. Da flyet skulle til at lande, stak israeleren fødderne i sine sko, og vidste med det samme, hvad der var hændt. "Hvor længe skal dette blive ved"?, spurgte han, "Dette fjendskab mellem vore folk....dette had....dette spytten i sko og pissen i colaer?" |
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| Nahm |
Lagt på d. 27/05-2016 21:49
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Meget øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 513 |
@web, Kan huske at man før i tiden hørte så mange Århus- og Molbo-historier. Dem hører man aldrig mere. Her er dog én: Hvorfor hælder århusianerne vand på deres computer? – De vil surfe på nettet. Bare rolig web, jyder kender alle vitserne, vi tager jer ikke så højtidligt derovre på øen, vi ved jo i ikke kan undvære os alligevel...er jyderne ikke snart i overtal i KBH ?  jeg har selv en masse familie i Kbh. fx, og de er sku begyndt at tale mærkeligt nu.
Mvh,
Nahm |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 27/05-2016 22:36
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Rocco er i filmen The Boondock Saints tvunget til at fortælle en joke: Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 27/05-2016 22:38
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Her er et par andre scener fra samme film: Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 28/05-2016 19:11
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
Fy ordet bliver jo brugt flittigt i amerikanske film. Her er en version der fik mig til at skraldgrine trods den blodige alvor.  |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 30/05-2016 06:26
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| GAMBIT |
Lagt på d. 30/05-2016 06:55
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 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1244 |
 - Your a cunt, always been a cunt
Too much agreement kills a chat.
- Eldridge Cleaver |
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| Dalton |
Lagt på d. 31/05-2016 08:25
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 Øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 326 |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 01/06-2016 08:39
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The judge says to a double murder defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother in law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out "You ROTTEN bastard!" The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or i'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?" Paddy stands up and says,"I'm sorry, your Honour, but for fifteen years i've lived next door to that arsehole, and every time i asked if i could borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 02/06-2016 16:04
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either.” "Do you have a partner then?” "No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own." … After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black” "Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black.” "Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair.” "Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?” "Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes.” "Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice.” At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Well thank **** for that !” "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked. "Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| hugoboerge |
Lagt på d. 03/06-2016 03:53
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 5534 |
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I out rank you. Tray-up, Bitch." |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 03/06-2016 09:53
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
https://www.youtu...rPi5Q#t=71 "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 03/06-2016 10:25
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 04/06-2016 11:01
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?" God replied: "I didn't recognize you.".. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 05/06-2016 05:55
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican and because they are THE seven dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?" Dopey asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No Dopey there are no dwarf nuns in Europe." This time all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare. Dopey turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?" "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting.... "Dopey f**ked a penguin! Dopey f**ked a penguin!!.. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 05/06-2016 10:17
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 06/06-2016 05:30
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The Drover. A drover, who just moved to Queensland from Victoria, walks into a bar and orders three glasses of XXXX beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the drover, "You know, a glass goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cattleman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One's in 'Tassie', the other one's a 'sandgroper'. When we all left our home in Echuca, we promised that we'd drink this way - to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The drover becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The drover looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Salvation Army and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though !!" "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 06/06-2016 20:03
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Haha, den er fandme fin: - http://ekstrablad...de/6116441 Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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