. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
Nyheder
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 Dagens joke
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 20/11-2015 11:30
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 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Haha: - http://www.bt.dk/...ldige-navn Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 20/11-2015 13:49
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 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1392 |
Jeg kan huske, da Jeg for godt 12 år siden arbejdede på et byggeri. Var vi flere håndværkere som gik over til bagerafdelingen inde i Føtex i nærheden, for at købe rundstykker, kager og mm. Og ikke for at være løgn, men en af dem som ekspederede os dengang, hedder Taber til efternavn. Redigeret af Thomas72 d. 20/11-2015 14:08 Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 21/11-2015 13:33
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" Heck,said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!" 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 21/11-2015 13:36
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The old man and the hunter An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| JohnBKK |
Lagt på d. 21/11-2015 16:20
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 4361 |
Jan Monrad er død, hvil i fred.. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 22/11-2015 04:17
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.” Murphy,... "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.” Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.” Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?” Manager "That’s Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't know.’ You put down, 'Neither do I.’ " "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 22/11-2015 17:14
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 22/11-2015 17:27
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A blonde lady was driving down a highway when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble." "I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo." “Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. “ But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 22/11-2015 22:03
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
 [img]http://images.sodahead.com/polls/002214921/732466533_baby20laugh_xlarge.jpeg[/img] is not a valid Image. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 23/11-2015 15:29
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple, what we do to make our days interesting. Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on sir, how about giving a pensioner a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a fascist bastard. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So my wife called him a total pillock. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. We continued to call him every name under the sun, and he just kept writing those tickets... This went on for about 20 minutes, and then our bus arrived. There's always something fun to do as a pensioner...
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 24/11-2015 07:29
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal? " he asks. Well, " his mother says, " I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussy cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, " You gonna tell him or should I ? "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/11-2015 04:47
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," declared the man with pride. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy." 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/11-2015 14:22
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
So this retired guy sits around the house all day wife says, You could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week. Guy gives it a moments thought and says, Sure why not show me to the vacuum. Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. Wife says, I did not hear the vacuum work, I thought you were using it? Exasperated man answers, The stupid thing is broken, wont start got to buy a new one. Really, she says, Show me - it worked fine the last time. So he did NOW CLICK ON youtube link [url] https://www.youtu...dmXLhN5i28 [/[/url] "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 26/11-2015 08:48
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Shane says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Phil wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Shane. Shane says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Phil says, 'I feel great, how about you?' Shane says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Phil says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' ' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' 'What's that?' 'Have you farted yet?' 'No.' 'Well, DONT - 'cause I'm ringing from New Zealand ' "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| milex |
Lagt på d. 26/11-2015 16:36
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 Meget øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 830 |
He he http://www.bt.dk/...ldige-navn |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 27/11-2015 16:58
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked for me," he replied. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 28/11-2015 14:42
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The old man and the hunter An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 29/11-2015 11:16
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The Agony of Aging On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back". 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 29/11-2015 14:25
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
 Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 30/11-2015 05:53
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. What the hell did you bring him home for?" Husband answers: "Because he's thinking of getting married." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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