. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
Nyheder
Se indlæg
 Dagens joke
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 09/10-2015 16:25
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
On there wedding night the newly weds spent the first night in the honeymoon suite of the motel the husband went down stairs to order breakfast. Egg, bacon, sausages and toast for me , and a lettuce for the wife he told the waiter. Isn't lettuce a rather unusual breakfast choice sir? Yes replied the husband but i want to see if she eats like a rabbit as well. ................................................................... Two 90 yr old mates Bruce and Phill meet in the street and Bruce says to Phill Whats this i hear about you being committed on a rape charge, you know thats ridiculous. Yeh i know says Phill but i was too bloody proud to plead Not Guilty. .......................................................................... The recession had hit the elderly country couple harder than most and they had fallen on very hard times. Sarah offers to help by going out on the streets.Hubby Phill protests feebly, but Sarah goes out. The next morning he's counting her takings. There's $34.50. Which lousy bugger gave you 50 cents, he asks. All of them she answered. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| sudsakhon |
Lagt på d. 09/10-2015 21:11
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2675 |
En ældre, hvidhåret mand gik ind i en juvelerbutik fredag aften, medbringende en meget smuk og meget yngre kvinde ved sin side. Han fortalte juveleren, han var på udkig efter en speciel ring til sin kæreste. Juveleren kiggede på sit lager og fandt en $ 5.000 ring. Manden sagde, "Nej, jeg vil gerne se noget mere specielt." På den opfordring, gik guldsmed ud på det særlige lager og bragte anden ring frem. "Her er en fantastisk ring til kun $ 40,000.- sagde guldsmeden. Damens øjne strålede og hele hendes krop rystede af spænding. Den gamle mand sagde: "Vi tar den". Juveleren spurgte, hvordan betalingen vil ske, og manden sagde, "Med check. "Jeg ved, du har brug for at undersøge om der er dækning for betalingen, så jeg skriver den bare nu og du kan ringe i banken mandag for at kontrollere at dækningen nu også er der. Jeg henter ringen op mandag eftermiddag. " Mandag formiddag ringede juveleren til den gamle mand og sagde »Hr... Der er ingen penge på deres konto. '' Jeg ved, "sagde den gamle mand ..." Men lad mig fortælle dig om min weekend. " |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 10/10-2015 16:14
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Hvis du har Facebook... https://www.faceb...525410329/ "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 10/10-2015 20:17
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 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
 Kommunen har opsat nyt cykelstativ på Christianshavn. Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| milex |
Lagt på d. 11/10-2015 12:03
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 Meget øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 830 |
Derfor: http://ekstrablad...en/5775809 |
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| Gunter |
Lagt på d. 11/10-2015 14:00
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 Lidt øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 70 |
Der er intet galt med cykelstativet.. det er sgu da til vandcykler.  - |
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| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 11/10-2015 19:43
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 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1392 |
[img]http://www.hyggestedet.dk/u/myimages/knudskuss.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image.
Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 13/10-2015 09:55
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A Bloke calls the company and orders their 5 day 5 kgs weight loss programme. The next day, there's a knock on the door and standing before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe from J.C. dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. The sign reads, 'If you catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few kilometres later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 kgs as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5 day 10 kgs programme. The next day there's a knock at the door and standing before him is the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, you can have me'. Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and despite his best efforts, no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 kgs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order their 7 day 25 kgs programme. 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone.. 'This is our most rigorous programme.' 'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.' The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.' He lost 31 kgs that week. .. .. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| hugoboerge |
Lagt på d. 14/10-2015 07:39
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 5534 |
THE GOLF BALL AND THE SAND WEDGE A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, 'Dark in here.' The man says, 'Yes, it is.' Boy - 'I have a golf ball.' Man - 'That's nice.' Boy - 'Want to buy it?' Man - 'No, thanks.' Boy - 'My dad's outside.' Man - 'OK, how much?' Boy - '$250' A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - 'Dark in here.' Man - 'Yes, it is.' Boy - 'I have sand wedge.' The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?' Boy - '$750' Man - 'Sold..' A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, 'Grab your sand wedge and golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice. The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge dad.' The father says, 'What?! How much did you sell them for?' Boy - '$1,000.' The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.' They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, 'Dark in here.' The priest says, 'Don't start that shit with me again. You're in my closet now!' |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 15/10-2015 04:52
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 18/10-2015 10:15
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 18/10-2015 10:40
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 19/10-2015 17:44
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. 'Thirty euros,' she whispers. Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's only thirty euros. So they hid in the bushes. They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is the Garda. 'What's going on here, people?' asks the cop. 'I'm making love to me wife,' Paddy answers sounding annoyed. 'Oh, I'm sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn't know.' 'Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that foocken light in her face "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| vandango |
Lagt på d. 20/10-2015 01:03
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3980 |
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!" |
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| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 20/10-2015 18:07
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Erfarent medlem Antal indlæg: 1392 |
[img]http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-SQ2XKQVJ5BU/ViZmWPEwpyI/AAAAAAAAAGE/b86Xy359J4Y/w565-h561-no/11053918_441563172668976_9163440875651815865_n.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image.
Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 21/10-2015 08:17
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The man said to the dentist. "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to go numb. I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 am tee off time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already ...I don't have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work." The dentist thought to himself. "Well, well, at last a golfer with total dedication!" So the dentist asked him. "Which tooth is it sir?" The man turned to his wife and says. "Open your mouth honey and show the dentist." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 21/10-2015 08:45
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 22/10-2015 22:13
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Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/10-2015 07:32
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Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPAD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn`t impressed even after he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function. 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| GAMBIT |
Lagt på d. 25/10-2015 13:08
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 Erfarent medlem Antal indlæg: 1244 |
sabai sabai skrev:
Hvorfor lige en thai kone????? Fordi jeg elsker hende når hun ...... ( tror jeg nok ) Laver dejlig thaimad ,som er så stærk så jeg ikke kan spise det ! Huset stænker af gammel fisk ! Køkkenvasken er stoppet af gamle ris ! Telefonen ringer fra Thailand ..send flere penge !! Veninderne sidder på gulvet og spiser ! The voice spiller på fuld drøn , så naboerne klager ! Telefonen ringer .. send flere penge ! Hun sidder og plukker "grå hår " , og smider dem på bordet ! Trykker bumser ud i spejlet ! Klipper negle , og lader dem falde ned på gulvet ! Telefonen ringer .... det var ikke nok ! send flere !! 1 time i badet ! og jeg skal lave stort ! Oy kigger forbi .. de taler Thai , .. kigger på mig og griner ! Telefonen ringer igen ! Hvem var det ? Hva '' ' rager det dig ai kwai !!! Give me money !! brother have accident !! Bliver væk i Bilka ! ( Vi skulle bare købe lidt til weekenden , men jeg finder hende i møbelafdelingen ,, hvor hun kikker på en grim sofa til 15000. kr.) ! Ai sat i love you ! Telefonen ringer .. Fætter Somchai , har problemer , Ikke nok penge ! Når jeg går i almindeligt tempo .. sakker hun 10 meter bagud ! Hendes mor ringer .... rishøsten er ikke så god i år , vi har brugt flere penge på gødning , end vi kan sælge risene for !! Send flere penge !!! Tirak give me money ! Mother have big problem !! Kusine Noi .. er i Bangkok , og har ikke penge til retur billeten ! ,, til Baan Kii Nok , hurtigt i banken og overføre 1000.kr. !! Telefonen ringer igen ! nu er motobiken gået i stykker igen !! ( kan de sgu da bare ikke ringe , nu når man alligevel er i banken !! MIN telefonen siger lyde............ Det er en sms fra Thai Erik !! ..kan du tåle en kringle i aften ?....................Ja mon ikke..... !!!!! Nu er jeg sgu nok alkoholiker ! , bare fordi jeg trængte til en lille slapper idag !!  Too much agreement kills a chat.
- Eldridge Cleaver |
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