. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
Nyheder
Se indlæg
 Dagens joke
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 11/11-2012 09:31
|
 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
De havde været gift i tyve år. Manden ville kun elske i mørke, og konen ville have ham fra den fjollede vane, så under en romantisk og højlydt omgang tændte hun lyset og så manden med en dildo i hånden! ‘Din impotente skid! I alle de år har du løjet for mig! Du har noget at forklare!’ Han så hende lige i øjnene og sagde roligt: ‘Okay. Jeg forklarer legetøjet – du forklarer børnene…’ "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 13/11-2012 10:43
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The trip to the doctor Your wife ? Millie accompanied her husband Maurice to the doctor's office. After he had given Maurice a full checkup, the doctor called Millie into his office, alone. He said, "Maurice is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, wake him up gently with a long and passionate kiss, then fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times and make sure he is always in a good mood. Cook him only his favourite meals, lunch and dinner and allow him to fully relax after each. Don't burden him with any chores and don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. Don’t argue with him, even if he criticises you or makes fun of you. Let him be as arrogant as he wants to be. Try to relax him in the evening by wearing see-through lingerie. Give him plenty of ‘full relief’ body massages. Encourage him to watch all the sport he can on the TV, even if it means missing your favourite programs. And most importantly, make full and passionate love with Maurice every evening after dinner and satisfy his every whim. I suggest you also make oral love to him mid morning and mid afternoon. If you can do all of this, every day, for the next 6 months, I think Maurice will regain his health completely." On the way home, Maurice asks Millie: "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| DKPete |
Lagt på d. 15/11-2012 09:18
|
 Meget øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 594 |
HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... ________________________________ My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started..... _______________________________ My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "Crikeys!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started... ________________________________ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. ______________________________ My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started... ________________________________ Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started... _______________________________ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started...... ______________________________ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.' And then the fight started... ________________________________ My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect." And then the fight started........ |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 16/11-2012 08:03
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
En ældre dame blev intervjuet på alderdomshjemmet.. Hvornår havde fru Petersen så sex sidst ? Tjahh, det var vel 1945 Da var det jo temmelig længe siden... Nåhhh det ved jeg nu ikke klokken er jo kun 2100 "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 18/11-2012 06:36
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all dishevelled and he looked needy. "Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want Natalie," the old man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..." "No, I must see Natalie." Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges £1,000 per visit. The man never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her ten £100 notes. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left. The next night he appeared again at the door of the brothel, demanding Natalie. Natalie came down and explained to him that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts...it was still £1,000. Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later. When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row... where are you from?" The old man replied, "I am from Minsk." "Really?" replied Natalie, "I have a sister who lives there." "Yes; I know," said the old man. "She gave me £3,000 to give to you." "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 19/11-2012 07:52
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Nyt skilt i baren
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 19/11-2012 08:05
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
[img]http://cache2.allpostersimages.com/p/MED/63/6394/8B39100Z/posters/warning-no-trespassing-violators-will-be-shot.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image. [img] http://cache2.all...-a-day.jpg [/img] "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| kanut |
Lagt på d. 20/11-2012 14:30
|
 Meget øvet medlem Antal indlæg: 601 |
Jeg tror at der er kvindelige hormoner i sprut, fordi når jeg er fuld køre jeg ad helvede til og taler som et vandfald 
MAN ARBEJDER FOR AT LEVE
MAN LEVER IKKE FOR AT ARBEJDE  |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 20/11-2012 14:52
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
kanut skrev: Jeg tror at der er kvindelige hormoner i sprut, fordi når jeg er fuld køre jeg ad helvede til og taler som et vandfald Der er nok noget om snakken Kanut - hav en god aften and drive carefully.... 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 21/11-2012 20:52
|
 Erfarent medlem  Antal indlæg: 1392 |
[img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/230963_542170072464912_1017208693_n.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image. Det er da tankevækkende
Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
|
|
|
| sula |
Lagt på d. 21/11-2012 23:04
|
 Øvet medlem  Antal indlæg: 222 |
kanut skrev: Jeg tror at der er kvindelige hormoner i sprut, fordi når jeg er fuld køre jeg ad helvede til og taler som et vandfald Hvorfor har kvinder fire læber? 2 til at dumme sig med - og 2 til at gøre det godt med igen. |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 24/11-2012 08:06
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
STRAFFELOVRÅD ER I PRINCIPPET IMOD KØBESEX Straffelovrådet afviser, at det har haft indflydelse på deres holdning til købesex, at rådet består af 8 mandlige jurister. »Vi synes, at vores holdning er meget afbalanceret, for vi mener principielt, at sex bør være gratis. Men hvis det ikke kan lade sig gøre, må man på den anden side acceptere, at det koster noget. Længere er den ikke«, siger et medlem«. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| sank |
Lagt på d. 24/11-2012 09:45
|
 Erfarent medlem Antal indlæg: 1131 |
  |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 25/11-2012 13:51
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Come & get me! Isaac and Sarah got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Sarah immediately telephoned her mother Leah. "Well," said Leah, "how was the honeymoon,darling?" "Oh mum," Sarah replied, "the honeymoon was fantastic. It was so romantic, and ..and..." Then Sarah started to cry. "Oh mum, as soon as we got back, Isaac started using terrible language. He said things I'd never hoped to hear, all those 4-letter words. Please mum, get into your car now and come and take me home." "Calm down, darling," said Leah, "tell your mother what could be that awful. Don't be shy, tell me what 4-letter words Isaac used." "Please mum, I'm too embarrassed to tell you, they're terrible words. Just come and take me away." said Sarah. "But bubeleh, you must tell me, you must tell me what the 4-letter words were." Still crying, Sarah replies, "Oh mum, he used words like WASH, COOK, IRON, DUST, ..." 
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Boes |
Lagt på d. 26/11-2012 12:31
|
|
Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 2688 |
The password Freda Cohen, a female computer consultant, was helping a smug male set up his computer and she asked him what word he would like to use as a password for login. Wanting to embarrass the lady, he told her to enter "PENIS." Without blinking an eye or saying a word, Freda entered the password as he had requested. But then, Freda nearly exploded from refrained laughter as the computer displayed the message in response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH. "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 27/11-2012 14:22
|
 Superadministrator  Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
 |
|
| keniko |
Lagt på d. 27/11-2012 14:39
|
 Meget øvet medlem Antal indlæg: 543 |
Joke og Joke... Jeg havde helt klart skidt en grøn snemand  K. Du skal ikke lægge puslespil hvis du ikke fatter en brik.
|
|
|
|
| Webmaster |
Lagt på d. 27/11-2012 14:45
|
|
Superadministrator Antal indlæg: 6782 |
Helt sikkert sjovere at se på end at være med i. Må indrømme at jeg fik tårer i øjnene af grin. Med venlig hilsen
Webmaster Email: webmaster@dansk-thai.dk Website: www.thailand-portalen.dk Ytringsfrihed er ikke retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, hvornår vi har lyst. Det er retten til at sige, hvad vi har lyst til, dér hvor vi har fået lov til det. |
|
|
|
| Thomas72 |
Lagt på d. 28/11-2012 16:51
|
|
Erfarent medlem Antal indlæg: 1392 |
[img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/263771_10151202725508143_948690758_n.jpg[/img] is not a valid Image.
Til Jer der rejser til Thailand for første gang, pas på!.
Thailand er vanedannende, stærk vanedannende!. Jeg ved hvad Jeg taler om. |
|
|
|
| Lung Yao |
Lagt på d. 29/11-2012 13:39
|
 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 3992 |
Webmaster skrev: Ikke så sjovt hvis een af disse personer havde et svag hjerte. Helt sikkert sjovere at se på end at være med i. Må indrømme at jeg fik tårer i øjnene af grin.  . Hellere tie og blive betragtet som værende "enfoldig", end åbne munden og få det bekræftet.
[url]www.thailandchildrenshome.dk[/url] [url]www.thailandchildrenshome.com[/url] |
|
|
|
| Spring til debat: |
