- men ellers er jeg bekymret for hans "Jesus complex" efter alt det lorte TM (Transcendental Meditation) - ikke go´ medicin for Bipolar folk, been there done that..
FCK og Brøndby IF vil koble alle andre hold af og forvandle Superligaen til New Firm League, hvor Brøndby og FC København skal møde hinanden 26 gange i et grundspil. Hvorefter de to bedst placerede hold mødes i et 10 kampes slutspil, hvor nummer 1 og 2 i slutspillet tager livtag i et afsluttende finalespil henover sommeren, hvor de to hold spiller bedst af syv kampe, som man kender fra det fra hockey.
Derefter kåres vinderen, og spillerne sendes på fire dages sommerferie, før ligaen begynder igen.
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
En mand har dårlige mave og går til sin læge, for at høre hvad han kan gøre ved det.
Doktoren svarer, at manden lider af en meget truende sygdom, som dog kan kureres ved at opsætte en stikpille i mandens anus.
Manden Accepterer så doktoren advare ham mod smerten, som nok vil komme.
Derefter beder doktoren ham om at bukke sig dybt forover og kommer pillen dybt op i mandens røvhul
Doktoren rækker manden en ekstra stikpille, og beder ham tage den indenfor de næste 6 timer..
Manden går hjem og senere samme aften forsøger han selv at sætte stikpillen op.
Men han opdager, at han ikke kan nå rigtige om bagved, så pillen kan blive sat dybt nok ind.
Han kalder derfor på konen, og fortæller hende hvordan det skal gøres.
Konen nikker, og ligger den ene hånd på mandens skulder for at berolige ham, mens hun med den anden kommer pillen dybt op i mandens røvhul.
Manden udstøder i det samme
-SATANS.
Konen spørger:
- Hvad er der i vejen??
Gjorde det ondt??
Manden svarer umiddelbart:
-Nej Men jeg kommer til at tænke på, at da doktoren gjorde det på mig første gang, havde han BEGGE sine hænder på mine skuldre
A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
“Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too – even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.
Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn’t stand in the way of our relationship, don’t you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he’ll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.”
At the bottom of the page were the letters ” PTO”.
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS:
Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbors house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.
