I need advice! I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind my boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket??? Plz any help would be appreciated i plan to go fishing this weekend!!
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We have all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really know the
difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Baby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both are fatal.
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the
subject,and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos ofcappuccino,
and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of
the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her
hole.
A man in his forties bought a new convertible car and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 100km/h, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
Theres no way they can catch a convertible, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 110, then 130. Then the reality of the situation hit him. What in hell am I doing? he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. Its been a long day, this is the end of my shift, its Friday the 13th, and I dont want to do any paperwork. If you can give me an excuse for your driving that I havent heard before, you can go.
The guy thinks for a second and says, Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.
Ett par har gift sig och ligger i sängen i bröllopssviten.
Frun säger lite blygt:
– Var försiktig, jag är oskuld.
– Hur kan detta vara möjligt? utbrister hennes nyblivne make förvånat. Du har ju varit gift tre gånger tidigare.
– Min förste man var gynekolog och allt han ville göra var att titta på den. Min andre man var psykiater och allt han ville göra var att prata om den. Min tredje man var frimärkssamlare och allt han ville göra var att … ja, herregud, jag saknar honom faktiskt!
Amerikanske videnskabsfolk har opfundet og udviklet verdens tyndeste tråd.
Men da den er så tynd har de svært ved at måle den.
Altså besluttes det, at sende tråden til kineserne.
De har styr på det, med de små ting.
2 måneder efter kommer svaret fra Kina;
Vi er ikke i stand til at måle størrelsen.
Amerikanerne er lige ved at give op, men så får de en ide.
Vi sender tråden til Danmark.
Det gør de så.
Ankommet til Danmark venter merikanerne på svar.
Der går 45 minutter så er der mail i USA:
Altså ! Nu har vi målt på jeres trådmateriale.
Skal vi bore et hul igennem eller vil i have skåret et gevind på ?
Lige fået i øret fra en svensker En gammel far har 3 drenge så dør gammelfaren og der er milioner på spil for drengene men så sker det den yngste søn dør også Nu er der så 2 tilbage og da de sidste 2 skal lægge ynglingen i kisten spørger den ældste lillebroen, skal han bare ligge der uden noget. Nej siger broderen vi lægger begge 2. 20.000 så han har noget at tage med, som sagt som gjort han smider straks 20.000 ned i kisten hvorefter storebroderen tager de 20.000 op og lægger en check på 40.000
Se det var en rigtig svensker historie gengivet af en dansk
On the night of their wedding, the groom took off his trousers and told his new bride to try them on.
